The Amalgamation of All Cozy Feelings

I am in a point of space and time that stretches outward infinitely, indefinitely, like the haze of images that fills a dreamer’s mind or the blankness of this dreamer’s head right after waking up and rising from bed. Everything around me merges; I am in some sort of a trance, where everything sways and blends, as opposed to the mosaic of the world that is reality. It is all surreal.
Yet what is more unbelievable is the vividness of this cosmopolitan universe. All sensual pleasures heightened, I can feel, see, smell, taste, and hear everything, all at once.
A blanket of darkness covers the entire above. There are no stars, but the moon shines in effortless brightness that illuminates everything beneath it. The moon is so near and so big that it seems like I can almost tap it with a finger. It is a floating button that, if I pressed the right way, will reveal its entire glory and explode. Then, the black cloudless heavens will be overwhelmed by its brilliance and finally succumb to its luminosity.
Beneath the blanket and before me a sea of lush grass spread in perpetuity. It has no boundaries other than my own imagination. It reveals no portion of the soil it covers, denying even the slightest betrayal from the ugliness of brown. I am standing on it and I can feel its moistness with my bare feet, crawling up to my naked groin. That, added to the icy coldness of the northern winds that splash endlessly onto my chest, makes my body shiver. I am a hopeless little thing in this world that keeps pushing me around, determining my sensations, and conditioning my being, like a helpless lab rat in an experiment, though with the willingness of a paid prostitute.
I hear the mating of cicadas and the fluttering of dragonfly wings. They share rhythm with the whistling of the northern winds, like the beat of a musical piece’s bass with a comfortably high-pitched melody. They emphasize the fullness and easiness of life in this world, making it seem as if it were full of interruptible activities. The world is in a state of fragile steadiness with its sounds.
From afar I smell a familiar scent of strawberries and lavenders, mixed in the dense air of everything fresh. It is nothing seductive, nothing mature as that; it is young, innocent, and naïve in its playfulness and free from the pheromones of adulthood. My nose fills with the smell and I space out as it lingers there. Then I allow the scent to enter my mouth and it tastes as I expected, like the milky skin of a toddler who has just come from a long bath. But the sensation builds up and becomes more and more familiar, far too familiar, that it has become alarming. I jerk my head and search around for its source.
I find it and discover that it has always been there, the solidification of all these homey sensations, of this inexplicable comfort and peace. She is sitting on the grass, a few feet away from me, smiling, with her braces glimmering under the moonlight. She shines white, like a lost ghost in all this darkness. Her arms are wrapped around her legs, which cover her body. She waves her hands and speaks, with the smallness of a child’s voice, “Hi.” I motion toward her and sit beside her. My corrupted body cowers in the purity of hers, yet she embraces me. I realize that this world was produced from her being, that all these sensations come infinitely from her, that this point in space and time is inside her and is simply embracing me, that she, not this world, is in truth the amalgamation of all cozy feelings.

~ by dyeisi on March 25, 2009.